Sex Advice from Female Bodybuilders

Q: Why are female bodybuilders better in bed? A: We’re more open-minded and less judgmental. We don’t have a problem with doing something different.
BY LINA CANNEY


Amber Deluca (Steel)

Why are female bodybuilders better in bed?
Many elite female athletes supplement with anabolic steroids, boosting their natural testosterone levels, which makes them more sexually aggressive. In addition, a side effect of anabolic steroid use is an enlarged clitoris, which makes it more sensitive. Many female bodybuilders are very orgasmic via oral sex, and even the slightest stimulation will engorge the clitoris — much like a penis — and we’re ready for sexual action.


What's the best way to impress a female bodybuilder?
Female bodybuilders are no different socially or intellectually than a normal female. Be a gentleman, first and foremost. If you really want to win a female bodybuilder’s heart, pay attention to her dietary needs. Food requirements are something that must not be overlooked, and the faster you understand what type of food, and how much it, she requires, the better off you’ll be. Most importantly, do not approach her and violate her personal space or start touching her body without her permission. 


Why date a female bodybuilder?
The only reason you should date any woman is because you enjoy her company and her character. Dating a female bodybuilder shows you have a sense of adventure, but will test your patience. People will stare and make comments, sometimes nice, and sometimes negative. You must be a resilient and highly confident man to stand by a woman who goes against societal norms.

My boyfriend and I have a great relationship and great sex life. One of the things I admire most about him is how much he respects women. I'd like him to throw me around a little bit, but that is far from something he would normally do. How do I get him to be more dominant without spelling it out for him?
You must spell it out for him. Let’s face it, if you really want something, you must communicate with your partner about it. If you do not do this, you will become more dissatisfied in your relationship. Perhaps you could take wrestling lessons together or go to a domination education class. There are safe, fun ways to play; however, you need to communicate and practice role-playing in a safe environment first. 


I've been single for quite some time now and quite frankly, I'm getting really sick of my vibrator. It's boring! How do I make masturbation exciting again?
I have experienced many periods in my life where I have lived alone without a lover. Your imagination is your savior. Look for new toys and techniques that will not only satisfy you, but will be fun to introduce to a new lover in the future. After many years of lovers and marriage, I discovered that I could ejaculate while masturbating. So, your time alone can lead to exciting discoveries and new paths to satisfaction. 


I just started dating this girl, but she told me that she's in an open relationship with another woman. I'm a man. So my girlfriend isn't my girlfriend and she's also in a bisexual relationship. I really like her though. Is there anyway I can make this work?
Of course you can make it work. You must be patient and understanding of her needs. I am bisexual by nature, and have been in relationships with both men and women simultaneously. The test of any long-term relationship is patience and accepting her as she is.


Shawn Tan (obviously before she quit BBing)

What's the sexiest thing about female bodybuilders?
We have strength and confidence.

Why are female bodybuilders better in bed?
I’m not sure that all female bodybuilders are necessarily "better" in bed, but if they are, I would wager it has to do with having an open mind. Being a female bodybuilder is often not accepted. So we’re more open-minded and not as judgmental because we don’t have a problem with doing something a bit different.

My boyfriend and I have a great relationship and great sex life. One of the things I admire most about him is how much he respects women. I'd like him throw me around a little bit, but that is far from something he would normally do. How do I get him to be more dominant without spelling it out for him?
I would suggest bringing up it up in conversation. Pretend that you read something about domination in a magazine. Then ask him if perhaps he ever gets a little bit bored with not trying something new. See what he says. Most likely he will ask a similar question in return and you could hint around what you would like to try.

I have a serious crush on a senior employee at my job. It's been going on for months. Should I pursue this? And if so, how?
I would first be sure the employee isn't in a committed relationship. If you've been crushing on this person for months, it's worth exploring in my opinion. This doesn't mean it has to go anywhere, but at least you'll know. I would suggest you begin by talking to him and eventually flirting with him. If he's interested, I think you'll know by the way he responds. If you're still not sure, take the plunge and ask him out.

My girlfriend is still good friends with her most recent ex-boyfriend. Their families are friends, they have mutual friends, and they meet up about once a month to hang out. We've only been together for three months, so I don't feel comfortable asking her not to spend time with him. Also, I know they dated right before we got together. Is it possible that they've moved to the "friend-zone" that quickly or is she cheating on me?
Only your girlfriend and her ex-boyfriend know the answer to that. However, they broke up for a reason and they could have broken up because they became more like friends near the end of their relationship. I do not advise you to tell her that she cannot hang out with him, regardless of how long you have been together. First, they were in one another's lives before you met and, secondly, you should not be with someone if you don't trust her. She is being upfront about what she is doing, so I doubt she's messing around.

I have genital warts. Yup, it sucks. What sucks even more is that it's really stopped me from dating. I avoid dating because I have no idea how to "have that conversation" with someone else. Also, I'm plain embarrassed. How and when is it appropriate to discuss this with a potential partner?
Yes, it does suck, but do you really want to be alone for the rest of your life? The time to discuss this is when you are at the point in your relationship that you are comfortable becoming sexual. Obviously, do not leave it until the point where you clothes are off, but as things become hotter and heavier, open up and talk about it. Also, there is a dating site specifically for people with STIs. Everyone on the site has an STI and makes a note of what they have in their profile. It eliminates the embarrassment because everyone there is in the same boat


Melissa Coates

Why date a female bodybuilder?
We understand a man's need for sports in a way that most women don't. And we are very in touch with ourselves, at least physically. In the past few years I've become far more balanced emotionally as well. It’s so healthy to get in the gym and work out those daily frustrations! It leads to a much healthier and happier relationship.


What made you want to become a female bodybuilder?
I am now a professional bodybuilder and a professional wrestler. But I started out as a powerlifter! I seem drawn to doing things that push the envelope on what people consider typically "feminine" or "masculine" endeavors. When I was a kid I remember seeing a report about the first women's Olympia in Sports Illustrated; the Olympia is an extremely prestigious bodybuilding competition. The photos of the women — so lean, so strong, so muscular, tanned, and beautiful — really stuck in my mind.

Years later, I started playing tennis which my parents — a doctor and a nurse — found acceptable. I got into weight training to make my game stronger. At my peak I reached ninth in the world, did the Olympia twice, and was on the covers and in all the top fitness magazines: Muscle & Fitness, Flex, Ironman, and many others. Now, on top of doing fitness modeling and pro bodybuilding, I’m an actress and a pro wrestler.

I have a serious crush on a senior employee at my job. It's been going on for months. Should I pursue this? And if so, how?
Office affairs have led to the downfall of many a woman, especially when it’s been with a "senior" employee. So be aware of this and know what you’re getting into. On one hand, it could lead to a beautiful relationship, but, on the other hand, if things go badly you could end up being fired. I would approach this with major caution.

I am casually dating a girl I like very much. The problem is that we've done this before, twice. Both times I've felt like I could have won her over if I'd been a little bit more of an asshole to her. Do you have any tips on how to snag the girl who can't be snagged?
I think it is always best to just be yourself. Do you really want to be playing games? If you aren't an asshole, then don't be one. I've seen the same scenario happen where complete wenches end up settling down with good guys, and I've seen that the men seem to respond to the bad treatment. It absolutely floors me. But I still can't be that way myself. Don't lower yourself to the level of so many other men in the world.

My boyfriend is pressuring me to tell him "my number." What he doesn't know is that I had a real wild streak before he knew me. I strongly believe in honesty and communication, but is this something he really must know?
No, he really doesn't need to know and it's out of line that he would even ask, but I do know men can get this way when it comes to their girlfriends. If he keeps pressing you, I would suggest telling a white lie. If you refuse to address the question, he will assume the worst, and if you answer with the truth, he probably won't be happy either.

In general no man wants to hear you have been with hundreds of guys. It’s a terrible double standard, because most men love to brag how many women they have slept with. If you’re going to tell a white lie, then what’s the magic number? I'd say, if you’re in your thirties, you can probably say twenty guys at the most. In your twenties, I'd go with around ten partners. Typically, immature men ask this type of question. So maybe you don't want to be with an immature man to begin with.